The Lure of the Long-legged Blonde

the stories of the dumbest detective since Inspector Clousseau, by Norman Mark, radio talk show host, wine columnist, and movie reviewer.

The Lure of the Long-Legged Blonde

        Think Pink Panther in America ­

        Tony Testa (family name--Testosteroni) and his Uncle Guido, a wise mafiosa, are detectives in a small town in Michigan.   While seducing a wife he was assigned to follow, Tony also solves the mysteries of the corpses wearing the shoes of the Village People and brings back the movie critic who loved the sequel "Showgirls 2: In Search of Their Lost Virginity."  Uncle Guido advises his nephew that, in any organization, you are only one bullet from the top.

        The Lure of the Long-Legged Blonde is a rollicking ride, the first of a series of hilarious novels featuring Tony Testa, a lovable, intellectually challenged loser.

BIO:  Norman Mark, formerly the movie critic for NBC-TV Chicago, has had half a dozen published books.  He is currently the wine columnist for the Desert Monthly Magazine in Palm Springs, CA. and a radio talk show host for KNWZ-AM, Palm Springs, CA.  His awards include an Emmy for television reporting, the Sigma Delta Chi award for radio public service, AP newspaper feature writing, the Peter Lisagor award for Exemplary  Journalism in arts entertainment reporting and criticism, three nominations for the Pulitzer, and the Opus Magnum Book Discovery Award from the Hollywood Film Festival.

        We've all read  the great detectives like Philip Marlowe, Sherlock Holmes and Harry Bosch.  Fugget about em.  Those guys had an advantage: they knew what they were doing.

The Lure of the Long-Legged Blonde features the dumbest private eye between book covers.

        During his investigations, Tony must earn the respect of his sidekick Uncle Guido, get the blonde, grab all the money he can and live long enough to learn something.

        The Lure of the Long-Legged Blonde is a rollicking ride featuring a lovable, intellectually challenged loser.   In the words of Uncle Guido, you¹ll love it if you know what¹s good for you.

You want proof?  Look at what these experts are saying:

"More fun than my first knee-capping."

    Tony "Big Putz" Deserata, holder of the modern-day record by taking the Fifth 373 times in one hour.

"If I could read, I might enjoy this book."

    Clarence "Whoo Ha" Murphy, whose Illinois Crime Commission testimony some say became the basis for The

Bridges of Madison County

"Do I kill him or give him a paving contract?"

    Tucci "Teeny Weeny" Shaw, author of the never-to-be published 12 steps to Gangster Fulfillment

"This Tony guy is dumber than a box of rocks ­ my kind of guy."

Cory "No Brains" Clitoriani, the only person who successfully put eight bullets into a six shooter.